open season on Black boys/men…we got to get our families back intact…we must become whole, get over our Black Male/Female BS, make and maintain marriage as a value that is taught, guided and secured. We need Black Men to get their sons off the corners and be a presence in schools OLD SCHOOL STYLE!!! Enough! I’m not a mother, but for all Black mother’s who have sons, if their fathers are willing to father, allow them; we have to stop feminizing our boys and get them actively involved in manhood training without our interference. We must build communities with support and justice meted the way “we” used to do it back in the day – your child was my child. We protected each other and it has become painfully evident that anyone who “thinks” a Black boy/man is “suspicious” according to prejudice, racism and bigotry has the right to kill! This is a sad commentary; one that has never really gone away…endorsed, supported, and real. #pissed (Dad, I know you did not think it ladylike to use that word…but that’s how I feel)
The controversy was real: “There’s no such thing as an African American couple, married, intact, lawyer and doctor with five children, living in a Brownstone in Brooklyn; and seemingly faultless”! Suffice it to say, television doubted The Cosby Show; African Americans were skeptical. It was 1984. Though generations of African Americans before 1984 lived in abundance and achievement in this country, as great as the Cosby Show was some veritable truths were omitted; especially where their only son Theo Huxtable was concerned.
For an 8 year run, Theo Huxtable grew into a sound young man: struggled with dyslexia, girls, and the typical developmentals of a growing teenage boy. He moved along with grace and ease, graduating from NYU. You know what, that’s great. Essentially, even with the naysayers of the day, all African American males don’t see hard times, underachieve or become part of the prison industrial complex. The ongoing message was work hard, go to college, and everything will come to pass. Even the episode that noted Theo’s grandparents and parents attendance at the March on Washington in 1963 portrayed as a past that advanced the future where Theo would not have to worry about driving while Black, walking while Black, being in the neighborhood…while Black.
Ironically that wasn’t true for Bill Cosby’s biological son, Ennis who was killed while Black. The son of privilege and education, the Morehouse Man was not exempt from danger. This was sadly the fate met by Trayvon Martin who lived in a gated community. Gated communities are often associated with having “made it”. Yet a zealous “community watchman” did more than call the police, he killed this young man without a hitch…and has yet to be arrested.
So how Theo Huxtable went 8 years without one racist incident is interesting. Even the show Family Matters (The Winslows, Urkel, etc.) where the head of the house was a police officer, had the gumption to deal with racist behavior toward his oldest son by a White police officer. Uncertain what the Cosby Show was trying to accomplish by avoiding that topic. But I’ll tell you this, all the achievement and financial abundance in the world does not a Black Man protect. Unconvinced?! …ask President Obama.
“People rarely change…they alter their ways to obtain a greater benefit ~ S. Witherspoon, Ph.D.”
Oprah’s interview with Jennifer Hudson and her sister regarding her husband’s murder of their mother, brother, and nephew/son respectively brought Dr. Maya Angelou’s words to life:
“When someone shows you who they are…believe them.”
The idea that we can “change” him or her is futile, immature, and unrealistic. At the end of the day, people do exactly what they want to do. Sadly, her brother-in-law told her sister if she left the marriage, he’d kill them. Period. So many may ask did she not see this coming beforehand? Chances are, yes. Hudson said she had known him since 6th grade and knew then that something was amiss. She begged her sister not to marry him. But like many men and/or women who have lowered self esteem they believe, “He just needs love” or “She needs to be treated right” and he or she will “change”. NOPE! Only God is that good.
Crazy is as crazy does. This case proved true. So in the words of Iyanla Vanzant…
“When you see crazy coming, CROSS THE STREET!!”
…and at all cost