Oprah’s interview with Usher, and eventually his Mother discussed the ultimatum her husband (Usher’s stepfather) gave her: choose him or Usher, and his career. She quickly left her marriage and moved forward, making certain her son was priority. Question: “Why bother getting married if your son gets more husband status than your husband?” Ok, maybe I sound totally off base – GREAT!! Engage me.
I’ve seen way too many mothers raising their sons without father’s (talking about males who have completely and voluntarily abandoned their sons). I’ve also seen mothers block their son’s father, and his input and/or guidance; as a woman cannot raise a man. These type of mothers treat their sons dang near like boyfriends. Once these young men become teenagers and are more self-sufficient, pulling away, some mothers tend to get in their business to the point of acting like a jealous girlfriend. Personally, I think this is what is guiding Usher’s fidelity issues.
You see, Usher loves older women. There, I said it! He is a bona fide cougar-hunter. Chilli. Tameka Foster. Significantly older than he. Nothing wrong with that – but for one little concern. I believe he’s looking for his mother in these women. Really?! Yep. For one his Mom held the strings too tight. Being a “mom-manager” has been both helpful and hurtful. Yet, at the point he became a grown azz man, she panicked, got on his nerves, and he subsequently let her go. It caused a riff. He married Tameka Foster to get away from Mom (a la Janet Jackson, Joe Jackson, and James DeBarge). Though he has two beautiful sons from the marriage, his quest to find a woman like mom continues to plague his growth; which stands as a strong message for women raising sons without fathers who “voluntarily” exit stage left:
LET YOUR SONS GROW UP! FALL BACK ENOUGH FOR THEM TO DO SO!! and…IF HIS FATHER IS AND/OR HAS BEEN AVAILABLE BUT YOU’RE HOLDING HIM HOSTAGE BECAUSE HE WON’T BE WITH YOU…GROW UP!!
Until then, Usher will continue to have sexual fidelity issues in relationships. And so will your sons…