The Re-UP: Rethinking the Huxtables, the American Dream, and Trayvon Martin

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African American first Black marriage, Black Family, entertainment, Family Matters, President Obama, The Cosby Show, The Huxtables, Trayvon Martin, violence

Originially posted March 18, 2012 by Sides 2 Truth

(Originally posted March 18, 2012, a reflection piece while waiting on the jury’s verdict; will past be prologue?) 

The controversy was real: “There’s no such thing as an African American couple, married, intact, lawyer and doctor with five children, living in a Brownstone in Brooklyn; and seemingly faultless”!  Suffice it to say, television doubted The Cosby Show; African Americans were skeptical.  It was 1984.  Though generations of African Americans before 1984 lived in abundance and achievement in this country, as great as the Cosby Show was some veritable truths were omitted; especially where their only son Theo Huxtable was concerned.

For an 8 year run, Theo Huxtable grew into a sound young man: struggled with dyslexia, girls, and the typical developmentals of a growing teenage boy.  He moved along with grace and ease, graduating from NYU.  You know what, that’s great.  Essentially, even with the naysayers of the day, all African American males don’t see hard times, underachieve or become part of the prison industrial complex.  The ongoing message was work hard, go to college, and everything will come to pass.  Even the episode that noted Theo’s grandparents and parents attendance at the March on Washington in 1963 portrayed as a past that advanced the future where Theo would not have to worry about driving while Black, walking while Black, being in the neighborhood…while Black.

Ironically that wasn’t true for Bill Cosby’s biological son, Ennis who was killed while Black.   The son of privilege and education, the Morehouse Man was not exempt from danger.  This was sadly the fate met by Trayvon Martin who lived in a gated community.  Gated communities are often associated with having “made it”.  Yet a zealous “community watchman” did more than call the police, he killed this young man without a hitch…and has yet to be arrested.

So how Theo Huxtable went 8 years without one racist incident is interesting.  Even the show Family Matters (The Winslows, Urkel, etc.) where the head of the house was a police officer, had the gumption to deal with racist behavior toward his oldest son by a White police officer.  Uncertain what the Cosby Show was trying to accomplish by avoiding that topic.  But I’ll tell you this, all the achievement and financial abundance in the world does not a Black Man protect.  Unconvinced?! …ask President Obama.

before we blackout for Trayvon…let’s Black-in

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Black Activism, black community, Black Family, Black Marriage, blackout, education, Emmitt Till, engineering, entrepreneurship, health and wellness, law, love, mathematics, science, STEM, technology, Trayvon Martin

 

 A black square has been indicated as the symbol of solidarity for justice on behalf of Trayvon Martin.  Hopefully this does not translate into a fad.  What am I saying?  Simply this.  I would hope that there would be some responsibility on behalf of the so-called Black/African American community to take measures into their own hands if things go left – measures that involve more than marches and protest, but real deal in the trenches work and solution achievement.

CHALLENGE: Before you blackout, be willing to “BLACK-IN” by:

1. EDUCATION: Active participation in your child(ren)’s education; be it at school, home or community.

 a) Reading: Children model you – read in their presence and aloud; then make them do it.

b) Writing: Remember the book report? Go Web 2.0 and have them do book reviews in the form of a blog.  No computer?  No worries, paper and pad will do just fine – then have them read it aloud; which is a great segue into…

c) Speaking: The old saying you can tell who a person is and where they are from by how they speak is a direct reflection of the frequency one reads and write.  Have your kids do impromptu talks so they become accustomed to presenting themselves.

2. TELEVISION: Shutting it off, especially where no edification is being marketed to people who look like you; especially by people who LOOK LIKE YOU!

3. ECONOMICS: Saving and Investing in growth and wealth versus Spending and Living above our means: future versus here and now economics will establish a power base by which to be contenders versus consumers.

4. ENTREPRENEURSHIP: Even if you take baby steps, creating business and opportunities FOR the community where unemployment becomes non-existent, and economics is self-reliant.

5. BECOMING LAWYERS, DOCTORS, SCIENTIST, AND ECONOMISTS: These areas affect our community – we should be permeating them in an effort to be available to the Trayvon Martin’s of the world in the spirit of Johnnie Cochran (RIP), Ben Carson, MD, E.E. Just (RIP) and Margaret Simms, Ph.D. to name a few.

6. MARRIAGE, FAMILY, AND PARENTING: There is strength in numbers; marriage has to be a recurring theme in our community – family has to be invested in.  Parenting is a full time job – engage in it!  Your child(ren) are not your friends!  So what they will get mad at you; they don’t like it, send them packing!  Take it back to the old school!!

7. BUILDING NEIGHBORHOODS…LITERALLY: Land ownership where housing is built from the ground up must be available to house our families.  We need fresh air and safe places for our children to grow and learn!

8. MANHOOD TRAINING/WOMANHOOD GROOMING: It is our responsibility to check and raise our children into men and women.  We must begin early and be consistent – and most importantly MODEL THE BEHAVIOR WE DESIRE.

9. SPIRITUALITY: Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, whatever – spirituality is a core to 1-8 working in synergy!

10. SELF LOVE, HEALTH AND WELLNESS: “WE” have to take better care of ourselves. Period.  Eat foods that nourish our minds and bodies.  Slow down and chill.  Go to the doctor/clinic regularly.  The dentist is a vital part of healthcare.  Relationships are only as healthy as you are; choose wisely, leave promptly if toxic: the first time!  Workout – sweat out that perm ladies; rather wash my hair and style, than have my hair looking great in the casket.

Am I saying this is an encompassing solution – NO!  But until you have started at least one, be reticent to “Black Out” on behalf of Trayvon Martin…Emmitt Till has been gone over 50 years – and we are still here.

BLACK-IN!

The Re-UP: Jason Collins and his Family’s overwhelming support…REALLY?!

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Black Family, Black Gay Males, Boston Celtics, GLBTQ, Jason Collins, NBA, Oprah, Oprah's Next Chapter, Stanford University

Ok…the majority of the so-called Black/African American community does not support homosexuality: especially as it relates to Black Men.  There have been families who have been well aware of that relative we all “knew” was gay, but never acknowledged.  It was the family secret buried deeper than why that uncle/aunt lives in that back room; no one goes there unless they have to.  So as I watched Jason Collins and his family on Oprah’s Next Chapter on the OWN Network, I was really wondering whether or not this family was just that supportive…or wanted to present as such.  Huxtable/Cosby Syndrome at its best.

In my humble critique, I saw a family who decided to “play nice” and show the world that Black people (families in particular) are open-minded and accepting.  Interestingly, I noticed his twin brother Jarron  expressing some low-grade anger and frustration at his brother’s announcement on a greater level.  Yet, that was restrained.   Dad smiled and offered the textbook “we support you”, while Mom dutifully smiled by.  Yet his Aunt, the judge said she already knew. Which begs the question, how did everyone else…miss?!

Could it have been the denial that many so-called Black/African American families engage in when “normal” fails to show up (i.e. mental illness, sexual abuse, etc.)?  Or maybe it was their Christian beliefs that dictated homosexuality is unacceptable, and decided to regard their son’s behavior as a “phase.”  Then again, his family could have refused to allow their Huxtablesque/Cosby utopia to be interrupted by the issue of their Stanford educated professional athlete’s sexual orientation brimming in the balance.  Maybe, just maybe, they were comfortable with Jason’s relationship and engagement with a woman with the hopes “it” would go away.

Whatever it is they maintained a united front on television last evening.  Besides, their friends, family and social set was watching.  Yet behind closed doors, I envision an angst that is less concerned with Jason’s coming out to the world, and more upset that their ability to remain under the radar as that Model Black Family has been compromised.

Essentially for the Collins’s, Jason altered the course of their perfect Black family for the world to see; their fears personified – “we’ve become a statistic!”

…damn